A Letter to My Cousin Paige

It is midnight. Tired. Eyes drooping. Yet i want to write a quick letter off to my cousin Paige.  I am not sure of the reason why I write this, or even put it on here. Maybe to answer some of her questions, maybe to get some thoughts onto paper, i do not know. But I feel that I should.

Sister Newman,
I love calling you that! You are my sister, my cousin, part of my family and I love you. I am so very proud of you. I think about you often and find myself thinking about you and the work that you do in Taiwan. You are blessed everyday by our God. He is so good. Many things we may not understand. But if there is one thing that you take away from this letter, know that I love Him and He loves us.

I am getting ready to embark on a new journey. It's like all the nights we spent out on the porch talking of the future. Remember how we spoke of coming to BYU? Getting married? Etc.  You, me, Blake, David, Kathryn, Austin, and Kelly? All of us trampling around and being the "biggest" in town!! Haha. Those days seem far away, and yet they are close to my heart. I miss them. And I miss you.  I am so grateful for those experiences.

Continuing in my own life and journey has been full of trials which have led to outpourings of the spirit. I feel a joy and happiness that is new and exciting. Paige, life is wonderful. I am sure that you are noticing that in Taiwan. All these trials and hard moments are but that.... moments. God never ceases to amaze me by blessing me abundantly. I remember from my mission to Paraguay many days of straight walking... and walking in Paraguay was not always a picnic :) Walking and talking, yet it seemed that nobody seemed to care nor give us the time of day. My companion and I have things thrown at us, spit at us, even trying to hit us.

The Lord gave me some of the greatest learning experiences during that time. I learned to trust in Him. He is the great Master of all things. He knows everyone; their thoughts and desires of their hearts. I learned that if we remain true, that is if we do what we can with the available time and resources then He will provide a way to accomplish his work. It may not come in our timetable. In my case I did not have anything going for four, yeah, four weeks. It was rough. We worked our tails off and did everything we could. By week 3 we decided to be happy no matter what and smile. As we did we felt better. We realized who we were and that this work was larger than just myself or my companion, but it was God's holy work of bringing others to him. That was something worth fighting for (figuratively not physically with punches :) ). He taught me to love people. I thought i knew how to do that before..... I was pretty naïve about that. My faith expanded, hope, charity, indeed all of me. That's what happens when we are on the Lord's errand.

I have even learned about this and grown as i've been home. And it has grown exponentially as I have dated Dana. Throughout the course of our friendship/relationship/engagement I have had an increase in my faith, my hope, my desires to serve God and others, desire to be my best self, to have the spirit with me, to be even as God, because of her. It's incredible. I learned many of these things with my mission companions, and now it is being increased by my angel from God, Dana. I love her. I would do anything for her. I pray to always be worthy of her. I worked so hard on my mission because I wanted to be worthy to be with God again and to be worthy of her.

Confront new challenges with faith! Faith has taken on a deeper meaning in the past year or so. I understand it more than before.... yet I still have a ways to go :) Do not be discouraged by trials with companions. Don't be stressed out if something is not right. I got up-tight and it put strain on some companions. Just take a deep breath, realize that not anyone, you nor they, are perfect. Of course the issue must be resolved and talked about, please do that. But there is a deeper principle here. The fact that faith leads to repentance. Have the faith to talk with your companion. The faith to openly communicate, to be of "one mind" and "one heart". I have learned with Dana that an open communication establishes trust and unity. I did not know what exactly that meant in marriage, nor if I ever could do that, till now. And it is bliss. I feel more love towards her than ever before because she knows me. She knows my thoughts and heart. My weaknesses and strengths. And she helps me. And I her. That faith will lead to action, or a change, to be more like the Savior. The is the essence of repentance: changing to be more like God and Jesus Christ. How amazing!!!!

So my dear cousin, go at it head on. I am so happy to read your letters every week. The gospel is true no matter where you are. Tell the wonderful people of Taiwan about the Savior. Express your love for him and they will feel something new arise in them. God loves them Paige. He loves everyone from the beggar  the drunk, the sinner to the president, the priest, the intellect. He loves them. He cares for them. He has sent you to be an angel for Him, to bear them up. Indeed, we are all to do that. I pray that we may rise up, and see that life is wonderful and coming to Christ is indeed worth it. Every moment.

Paige, know that i know that God lives. He is our Father. His Son is Jesus Christ. He is the Savior of ALL mankind. Through His atonement we can be changed to be even as He is. I want to be like Him. I try everyday. He helps me. Dana helps me.

Know that we love you so much. Dana and I will send pictures of our wedding in November. We are praying for you and for you to help those who God puts in your way. (perhaps in another letter I'll write about the spirit and just going forth) (A carrot for next time ;) ).

I love you. Thanks for representing our family. You will be forever blessed with your family. Thanks for influencing my life. You're the greatest!!

With love and prayers,
Your cousin,
Cam

- End of letter. I still do not know why I wrote it on this blog. I have not rewritten it with exception of a word here or there. It is really 12:40am now and the grammar is probably terrible. I hope that some of you may read this and find truths in it for your life and understand a little bit more why life is great. Thanks for reading. Gnight!

ps. Paige is a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.